HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY!!!, with < My Thoughts > by Sara Luker
You may never get the expected ‘hugs’ or ‘love’ words, but you know they are there even if your child cannot emotionally express them.
Here are just some ‘Mom excerpts’ from my ‘Extended Book Reviews’; with < My Thoughts > by Sara Luker which can be found on my website MENU. Also, find similar quotes from 'those who have gone before us' in my FREE ASD BOOK, Know Autism, Know Your Child. Go to www.sarasautismsite.com.
From – Making Peace with Autism by Susan Senator, eBook 2006; Extended Book Review, with
< My Thoughts > by Sara Luker
I talked and read to the baby in utero. I read all kinds of mother-to-be books. We were so well prepared that we didn’t think anything could go wrong. This illusion was deepened by our comfortable backgrounds and the fact that we lived in a society that promoted the idea of family life as a Hallmark card.
Susan Senator is also the author of –The Autism Mom’s Survival Guide (for Dad’s, too!): Creating a Balanced and Happy Life While Raising a Child with Autism by Susan Senator, eBook 2011; Extended Book Review, with < My Thoughts > by Sara Luker
The sun will come up tomorrow and we will still have autism within our family. I can choose how I live it. We do not have to trade ourselves for our children, or our happiness for our children’s happiness. Even something as confounding and difficult as autism in the family is not the end of a happy life. Once we understand that, we will get there and it will all be OK.
One day you will feel that something inside you has shifted, lightened. When you look at your child, you no longer see a mass of problems, a broken thing to be fixed; you see you kid, just your kid. One day you will know that it’s just your life, warts, autism, and all. And you can’t wait to start living it to its fullest. Once you know this…you have just won the game.
From – Building in Circles: The Best of Autism Mom by Elizabeth W. Barnes, eBook 2014; Extended Book Review, with < My Thoughts > by Sara Luker
My name is Elizabeth and I am an Autism Mom. Our son, who we call the Navigator, is nine and was diagnosed on the Autism Spectrum at the age of seven. Before his diagnosis, I had heard of Autism – non-verbal children who don’t like to be touched, who rocked, and who ritually lined things up.
There is no one thing or even series of things that work all the time, or are even discernible as a pattern. There is a need for constant analysis and creativity, which is exhausting and sometimes seemingly fruitless. There is no cookie-cutter approach.
From – Twirling Naked in the Streets and No One Noticed; Growing Up with Autism by Jeannie Davide-Rivera, eBooks 2013; Extended Book Review, with < My Thoughts > by Sara Luker
To my mother, I was just being difficult; I wanted to do things my own way. I had a mind of my own and no one was going to change it – ever.
< My Thoughts > “I was just being difficult…”
So often at home and at school, the child feels ‘marginalized’ and ‘isolated’ from the group and their peers. When parents and/or teachers see a child as ‘just being difficult’ it does great harm to that child’s well-being and sense of self. And while they may not be able to ‘read’ people’s feelings and emotions, somehow they know how people view them.
After a long humiliating day of school, I had nothing left – no brain power or discipline. There was no way in the world homework was getting done. I suspect that many autistic children have this difficulty. By the time they arrive home, school has sucked all the life out of them.
< My Thoughts > “…school has sucked all the life out of them.”
Often, they have no way to tell us that “After a long humiliating day of school, I had nothing left – no brain power or discipline…”
Hedges, et al. (2014) put things into perspective for both teachers and parents. Their study found that educators felt that parents did not have realistic expectations for their children with ASD. And, parents felt that many educators, special education teachers included, often did not really know enough about ASD to be able to support students effectively.
For example, the viewpoint of the school personnel was that they would see the student as more capable than he or she actually was. Or, they would see them as lazy or uncooperative, even stubborn. They also felt that the child was probably being ‘coddled’ at home, this contributing to the problem.
< My Thoughts > “…coddled’ at home,…”
Define – ‘coddled’ at home! Children with autism are not giving you a bad time… they are having a bad time.
Reference:
Hedges, S., Kirby, A., Sreckovic, M., Hume, K., Pace, S. (2014); Falling through the Cracks: Challenges for High School Students with Autism Spectrum Disorder; High School Journal, Vol.98 Issue 1, p64-82.
From – Twirling Naked in the Streets and No One Noticed; Growing Up with Autism by Jeannie Davide-Rivera, eBooks 2013; Extended Book Review, with < My Thoughts > by Sara Luker
My boys now know I’m an Aspie, and to my 2 year-old I’m still just Mama. To my 8 year-old Aspie son, I’m still just mom. To my 13 year-old Aspie son, I am part mom, part superhero (according to him, my super-senses are super powers).
I rejoice in my Aspie-ness, and if you are on the spectrum, or someone you love is, you should too.
It took 38 years for me to be diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome (AS), as a form of high functioning autism – 38 years of confusing experiences.
< My Thoughts > “…38 years of confusing experiences.”
The rest of her life is so worth reading about. Her Aspie-ness shines as she rewards us with an understanding of why they say “autism spectrum.”
From – Knowing Autism by Lorca Damon, eBook 2012; Extended Book Review, with < My Thoughts > by Sara Luker.
Because those with autism seldom ‘store’ experiences, they never seem to fully understand that we mean when we say…“no, not right now, maybe later when mom isn’t so busy!”
Happy Mother’s Day!
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