NonVerbal Autism
 
Some persons with autism have persistent problems with communication. The latest Diagnostic & Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5) considers these persons to require substantial support; or, depending on the severity of the communication problem, a Level 3 – requiring very substantial support. This DSM-5 diagnosis allows clinicians to refer patients for diagnosis, support, and necessary services.
 
< My Thoughts >     “…communication.”
 
Communication must be continually addressed throughout the life the autistic person. Communication is the link, the connection to one’s world.
 
When the newborn baby cries out its probably to satisfy a ‘sensory’ need – I’m hungry, I’m hot/cold, I’m wet, I’m uncomfortable! These desperate cries are primal sounds made in hopes of getting a comforting response from whomever is within earshot.
 
If a child’s needs are not easily met, in the only way in which s/he is capable of communicating, then it’s possible that the ‘primal screaming’ infant will reemerge. Know that, s/he is not trying to ‘give’ you a bad time – s/he is ‘having’ a bad time!
 
Know too, that throughout childhood, kiddos hear and understand ‘receptive’ language much, much more than we think that they do. They know the tone of what you are saying, and eventually, know what your words mean, long before they can make the words to respond. From the very beginning, they also ‘pick up’ on your attitude and feelings. Studies show that sensitive children see how people really feel through the ‘auras’ and ‘energy field’, or changing colors which surround that person.
 
CDC Staff Writer (2024) cautions that autism spectrum disorder (ASD) is a developmental disability caused by differences in the brain. Some people with ASD may have advanced conversation skills whereas others may be nonverbal. Some people with ASD need a lot of help in their daily lives; others can work and live with little to no support.
​
Rudy, L. J. (2024) relates that despite the prevalence of autistic people who don't speak, the term "nonverbal autism" has no official status as a diagnosis. In part, that's because there is no clear line between verbal and nonverbal autistic people.
 
Some people with nonverbal autism do develop the ability to use a few words in a meaningful manner but are unable to carry on any kind of significant conversation. For example, they may say "car" to mean "let's go for a ride." Yet they would not be able to answer the question, "Where should we go?" to communicate their wants and needs.

< My Thoughts >   “…communicate their wants and needs…”
 
Having a non-verbal autistic child, as Sonny is, puts an extra strain on our communication. Early on, we learned to ask him, “Show me what you want.” Of course, this exacerbated his tendency to drag us to what he wanted, or to where he wanted us to go. Eventually, before we all became too frustrated, we taught him and he began using ‘baby signing’. Then, he learned to use his low technology ‘Cheap Talk’ communication device to summon us. We also have a similar small push-button device which we take with us in the car.
 
Hoecker, J. (2018) has information that limited research suggests that ‘baby sign language’ might give a child a way to ease communication frustrations between 8 months and 2 years. During those years, children begin to know what they want but don’t always have the verbal skills to express themselves. There are many ideas when you are searching on your own for sources about teaching ‘baby sign language’. ​Hoecker has ways that you may learn ‘baby signing’, on YouTube videos, in eBooks, to give you a start. Trying them, may surprise you. But he cautions that the first sign language attempts by your child will look like loose gestures, not the real signs.

< My Thoughts >    “…not the real signs.”
 
Sonny often improvises; for instance, the sign for ‘more’ is to gesture with both hands, putting fingertips together several times. Sonny’s interpretation at first was to clap his hands together, because clapping was what he already knew how to do. And eventually, he was able to better approximate the sign for ‘more’, but he still claps his hands first, or slaps his thigh to alert us that he is signing something.
 
Sonny also claps his hands loudly if he can’t remember a sign, or if I’m ‘not getting the sign, he will improvise something. If he forgets the sign for ‘hurry’ he will frantically give the sign for ‘more’ – as in ‘more faster’ I guess.
 
Another method of communication for Sonny are his interactive children’s board books. Some of his favorites are – Sesame Street Elmo’s Play-a-Sound Pop-Up Song Book, Mickey Mouse Play-a-Song with Piano Keys, Nickelodeon Dora and Diego Interactive Sound Books. All of these are board books and take a lot of use and abuse, but have phrases or songs he likes to help him communicate.

The Mickey Mouse book has a button which when pushed says – “Oh Boy! Come on! Let’s GO!” He has this in the kitchen, to use when I’m not filling his cup fast enough. Then he laughs. Yes, he has quite a sense of humor, ‘profound’ autism and all. Sonny’s MA (mental age) is between that of a 2 of 3-year-old; but that doesn’t mean that he isn’t smart, intuitive, and creative when it serves him well. So, if he can do this kind of improvisation, your child should be a whiz!
 
Caveat to teaching a baby/child to sign – when signing receives such a quick response, why learn or try to speak. Although ‘speaking’ is a early human need, Sonny’s primary mantra is “What’s in it for me?” Why should he make an effort to vocalize, when signing is quicker and easier.
 
But in Sonny’s case, according to his neurologist, the parts of the brain which allow for language have never formed or developed. He can utter sounds and laugh spontaneously, when moved by something he hears, sees, or feels. He doesn’t cry, even when having a tantrum or meltdown.
 
Autism is so ‘beyond’ complex, because each person presents autism symptoms and behaviors differently. And these also may be ever changing, from mild to extreme. You may see these symptoms and behaviors once, but never again. They may be persistent throughout one’s lifetime. Constantly transforming; or, somewhere in between.

WebMD Contributor (2020) considers that a speech therapist delivering an individualized treatment is crucial. An experienced speech therapist, working closely with a team of child psychologists and others can provide the communication and behavior supports the child needs. This would be the most desirable situation for everyone.
 
Speech therapy techniques may include – (My Thoughts)
​

• Using electronic ‘talkers’

(From simple to sophisticated)

• Signing or typing devices

(Also, works wonders for persons with learning disabilities)

• Pointing to picture boards

(We made a pocket-size picture book of his favorite things for Sonny)

• Implementing picture exchange communication systems (PECS)

(PECS sometimes needs to be reintroduced after certain other skills have been mastered)

• Gaining tolerance for sounds with which person has sensory issues

(Sudden sounds may produce Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) symptoms)

• Improving articulation by massage or therapy techniques

(These techniques provide a connection between physical areas of the throat or tongue, with the sound)

• Singing songs with individuals to improve speech and reduce stress

(Music requires a different part of the brain. Often, stuttering or other speech difficulties can be overcome by singing the words, first.)

​< My Thoughts >   “…techniques may include…”
 
Above are just some of the techniques of a Speech-Language Pathologist (SLP). All children seem to learn best when they are having fun or gaining something pleasurable from the experience. A certified SLP will diagnose, develop, and plan an intervention; as well as do constant follow-up to adjust techniques to your individual child.
 
Parents often ask – why a Speech-Language Pathologist (SLP) when my child is nonverbal? My answer is – because of all the hopeful possibilities for bringing your special person into a world where he/she can communicate and connect with you. Because, chances are you will find them moving closer to you; instead of moving away from you.
 
References:

CDC Staff Writer (2024). Autism Spectrum Disorder; Centers for Disease Control & Prevention. Retrieved online from: https://www.cdc.gov/autism/about/index.html

Hoecker, J. (2018). Is Baby Sign Language Worthwhile?; Retrieved online from – Mayo Clinic.org/

Rudy, L.J. (2024). Understaanding Nonverbal Autism; Very Well Health. Retrieved online from https://www.verywellhealth.com/what-is-nonverbal-autism-260032.
 
WebMD Contributor (2020). Benefits of Speech Therapy for Autism; Retrieved online from – www.webmd.com/brain/autism/benefits-speech-therapy-autism/
 
Note: For further information on 'non-verbal', ‘echolalia’, and other 'stereotypical' communication by children and adults with autism; please find my Free ASD Book: Know Autism, Know Your Child with < My Thoughts > by Sara Luker. Found on website MENU. Read Free online. Please see under UNIT 3  What Is Most Concerning?; prioritizing concerns. CHAPTER 2 – SPEECH & LANGUAGE COMMUNICATION (Including non-verbal, echolalia, & assisted alternative speech).

Kindly share my website, globally. My goal is to reach all parents, caregivers, clinicians, therapists, educators, students, and persons with autism.

Regards,

Sara Luker

​Excerpts from my Extended Book Reviews of the books The Horse Boy (2009), & The Long Ride Home (2015); by Rupert Isaacson; with < My Thoughts > by Sara Luker.

Excerpts from my Extended Book Review of Rupert Isaacson’s book. (1% indicates location in the Kindle version of the eBook, instead of page numbers). Complete review to be found on website MENU.
 
The Horse Boy (2009) by Rupert Isaacson ~
 
Part One – 

Isaacson, R. (2009)    1%     April 2004 my son, Rowan, was diagnosed with autism. The feeling was like being hit across the face with a baseball bat.
 
Grief, shame – this weird, irrational shame, as if I had somehow cursed this child by giving him my faulty genes, condemned him to a lifetime of living as an alien because of me.

Isaacson, R. (2009)      9%       The first time I took Rowan to the barn to saddle Betsy up, he ran amok…
 
…yelling and screaming and swinging his Woody and Jessie dolls around and around in both hands… 
 
(I kept saddling Betsy) tightening the cinch and grabbing at her lower lip as I slipped the bit into her mouth.
 
“Do you want to get up on Betsy?” I asked him, not expecting a response.
 
“Up!”
 
It was the first time I’d received a direct answer to a direct question. I bent down, scooped him up, and put him in the saddle. 
 
< My Thoughts>          “Animals and nature were what motivated him.”   
 
Fortunate are the parents who find the key to their child's motivating stimulus. Yes, Kristin and Rupert were able to kick-start Rowan’s imagination. They recognized her opportunity to draw Rowan into a world that they could share, the world of animals.   

Sicile-Kira, C. (2014) tells us, “Individuals with autism often become fixated on a single thing, such as trains or airplanes. Use the strong motivation of the fixation to encourage activities. If you can identify the strengths you can focus and build upon them to motivate learning, to create opportunities to expand them to possible future interests.”
 
Isaacson, R. (2009)   13%     Betsy – without question, that had been a miracle. Might there, I wondered, be some way of combining these two things – horses and shamanic healing? Was there a place in the world…? A place that understood the interplay between horses and healing…
 
… in my blind man stumbling way…did such a place exist?
 
Mongolia. The place where six thousand years ago, the horse had first been domesticated.  

​What if Rowan’s autism, instead of shutting down our lives, could be a gateway to the greatest adventure of all? What if that were possible? 
 
What if we were to take Rowan there? Get on horseback and ride across that vast, primordial Mongolian grassland from shaman to shaman?
 
< My Thoughts >        "What if that were possible?"
 
When dealing with autism, it is no surprise that families searching for the perfect quest, rise to different levels of inspiration and different levels of hope. In their eyes they feel that they have to “do” something… take action, right or wrong.
 
Isaacson, R. (2009)   13%    “Rupert!  We have an autistic child – a child who can’t even control his bowels, let alone his tantrums! And you’re saying that somehow, we’re going to fly to Mongolia, get on horses, and ride from shaman to shaman?
 
While Kristin dismissed it… I began to dream – and to plan. 
​
14%     …Rowan was growing so fast that in another year or so he might no longer be able to sit comfortably in the saddle with me.
 
17%     The book proposal (requiring a trip to visit Mongolian shaman) I had sent out had been accepted. The trip would not bankrupt us after all, a few days later my proposal was accepted. We were going to Mongolia.
 
Reference:
 
Sicile-Kira, C. (2014). Autism Spectrum Disorder (revised): The Complete Guide to Understanding Autism; New York, New York: Penguin Random House Company. 

The Long Ride Home: The Extraordinary Journey of Healing That Changed a Child’s Life,
by Rupert Isaacson; eBook Edition (2015).

Excerpts from my Extended Book Review of Rupert Isaacson’s book. (1% indicates location in the Kindle version of the eBook, instead of page numbers). Complete review to be found on website MENU.
  
Isaacson, R. (2015)   2%       Tantrums like tsunamis, like storm fronts moving in from nowhere, erupting even in sleep. No language. My son floating away from me, absent, not there. So tantalizingly affectionate one moment and so lost the next.

1%       The shaman Ghoste once told me, “Rowan will become gradually less autistic until his ninth year. Then, if you follow instructions, his autism will get less and less, and gradually disappear. But the stuff that’s been driving you crazy, the incontinence, the tantrums, these things will end now. From today.”

I tried to take this in, found I couldn’t. So, I just kept listening.

“But to make this happen,” he said, “You must make another healing journey to see a good shaman. It doesn’t have to be me, or in Mongolia even, but a good shaman, somewhere; the Bushmen you know in Africa. But one good healing journey a year for the next three years to make the healing complete…” I nodded, not knowing what to think… three more journeys.

2%       I did notice one thing: my son became better outdoors. He tantrummed less, seemed happier, more ‘present’. So we spent hours and hours exploring the little trails in the woods behind our house in the Texas countryside.

< My Thoughts >       “...my son became better outdoors.”

Sometimes, leaving the comfort of his room is a challenge for our Sonny. We find that having a ritual for going outside, helps. The ritual consists of putting on his sunglasses, his backpack with a communicator, and bringing a sippy cup for juice.
 
Note: Further information on 'adventure therapy' in my Free ASD Book: Know Autism, Know Your Child with < My Thoughts > by Sara Luker. Found on website MENU. Please see under UNIT 7– 7 Section 7: CAMs Complementary & Alternative Medicine
             PART 4 –
                7.  creative therapy
                     a. introduction
                     b. art
                     c. music
                     d. dance, theatre
                     e. adventure therapy
 
NOTE: Learn more about Toileting, Theory of Mind (ToM), and Cognitive functioning listed on Navigation MENU, under UNIT 3 What Is Most Concerning?, in Chapter 3 APPENDIX A (Toileting) APPENDIX B (Theory of Mind) (ToM).

Isaacson, R. (2015)   43%     In next to no time, off we flew from the UK and into – for us – truly uncharted territory.

47%     “I don’t want Rowan to stop being autistic. Not at all; in fact I’m seeing so many gifts in his autism now that I honestly wouldn’t exchange his autism for normality. I just want him to be as effective and happy and successful as he can be.”
I began to dig around and found that there was surprising overlap between Western doctors, and shamanism healing. I even heard that Johns Hopkins Hospital had a faith healer on the children’s ward there. 

< My Thoughts >    "...shamanism healing."

Before there was traditional medicine, cultures found a way to 'heal' unwanted conditions.

According to Winkelman, M. (2009), the origins of ‘shamanisms’ takes us across the time and space of spiritual healing practices; both in a biological and social evolutionary way. He goes on to say that shaman healers and mediums are associated with hunter-gather societies and derived from the need to interact with spirits on behalf of the social community.

Winkelman believes that participating in these ancient rituals in an altered state of consciousness can induce healings and reduce aggression, producing a sense on ‘oneness’ with the universe. Shamans have evolved a form of hypnotic capacities which allow a connection between the unconscious and the conscious mind. Participating in these ceremonies, in human adaption and survival has assisted humanity in its evolution out of the ancient past, into the present, and on to the future existence.

Isaacson, R. (2015)   48%     So next morning, as directed, we drove back to Mossman Gorge, this time driving on to the Aboriginal village.

49%     Harold was waiting in the palm-thatch hut when, much, much later, we came down at last from the river pools. (Again, Harold performed his ritual on the second day.) As he flicked something that looked like slightly bloody mucus into a cup, Kristin asked, “What was that?” “Like I said,” Harold replied, “there’s some things I can tell you and some things that I can’t.” “Come back one more time tomorrow,” he said, “and that should about do it.”

50%     “I feel better in my head. I feel happy.” Rowan had never said anything like that before. So that was that. The second healing done, we took our leave of Harold – “The young feller’ll be doing better now, you’ll see” – and headed out once more, south down the long coast road.

57%     We still had one healing left to do, to complete Ghoste’s charge to us of making three more healing journeys after leaving Mongolia. We had fulfilled his instructions to the letter so far, and I wasn’t about to give up. I had already been planning this third, final healing journey, had it in hand. And the best thing about it was that we would not even have to leave the country to do it.

The final healing was set. Would it work? Would Rowan become conversational at last? Or again, was I just chasing butterflies here?
​
Reference:
 
Winkelman, M. (2009). Shamanism & the Origins of Spirituality & Ritual Healing; Equinox Publishing, Ltd. London SW3 5SR; V3.4, p 458-489.

Note: Complete Extended Book Reviews with < My Thoughts >, for both of Rupert Isaacson's books to be found on website MENU; plus, a LINK to purchase the books on Amazon.

Theory of Mind   (ToM) 

​NOTE: Excerpts from the books listed in References. (1% indicates location in the eReader version of the book, instead of page numbers).
 
Cariello, C. (2015)   57%   Literal boys like Jack, will start looking around wildly for giraffes when their mother announces that the box store parking lot is a zoo!
 
21%   As a literally thinker… he has trouble with cognitive flexibility and ‘theory of mind’. An aspect of social cognition, ‘theory of mind’ is the ability to understand that others have beliefs, opinions, and feelings different than your own. Jack however, thinks everyone sees and feels and likes the same things he does.
 
< My Thoughts >    “…everyone sees and feels and likes the same things he does.”
 
Thinking that another’s life duplicates yours in every way, with the same wants and needs. Thinking they are experiencing the same feelings, perceptions, and environmental setting as you are experiencing.
 
Even neuro-typical’s with undeveloped or underdeveloped ‘Theory of Mind’ will believe that others think, understand, and perceive the world ‘exactly’ as they do. They do not realize that different persons have different thoughts, desires, beliefs, and attitudes by which they make sense of the world they live in. 

Cariello, C. (2015)   23%   How do you increase a person’s ‘theory of mind’ and help them understand that others think and feel differently?
 
With the help of our psychologist, we…created a strategy to increase his (Jack’s) ability in each of the identified areas:

• Self-regulation
• Communication
• Cognitive ability

Essentially, we wanted him to learn to stretch himself, like a rubber band but also to have the skills he needed to identify his breaking point before he snapped.
 
< My Thoughts >       “…skills he needed…”
 
Neurotypical persons naturally develop the needed ‘survival’ skills to interpret, predict, intuit, and imagine what others in their world are thinking. Persons with autism are mostly ‘literal’ thinkers like Jack. They are so focused on ‘their’ world that there is no room for anyone or anything else.

​While neurotypicals sometimes find it difficult to see and/or accept another’s point of view; persons with autism often find it impossible. Besides, what purpose would it serve them? They see no need, because they are so intensely certain that their way is the true one.
 
Staff Writer (2008) states, “In his 1995 book, Mindblindness: An Essay on Autism and Theory of Mind," Simon Baron-Cohen explored what has become one of the central theoretical concepts of autism: theory of mind. Baron-Cohen proposed that children with autism suffer from ‘mindblindness’.

Already hampered by the inability to achieve ‘joint attention’ with others, they become unable to build on that fundamental step to ‘intuit’ what others are thinking, perceiving, intending, or believing. They become “blind” to others’ mental states.
 
Note: For further information on ‘cognition’, read online in my Free ASD Book: Know Autism, Know Your Child with < My Thoughts > by Sara Luker. Found on website MENU. Please see under UNIT 3  What Is Most Concerning?  UNIT 3, CHAPTER 3  Cognition & Temperament/Personality
​APPENDIX B - Theory of Mind.

Staff Writer (2008) says that individuals with ASDs lack this ‘thinking ability’ to a staggering degree. They cannot read social cues; including facial expressions, body language, or tone of voice. Even higher functioning individuals who are trying to pay attention, who want to connect, constantly commit social mistakes, alienating their peers. They have a hard time noticing the social world and interpreting it.
 
Early problems with gaze and joint attention, it is believed, come to impact their ‘theory of mind’. ‘Theory of mind’ simply refers to the understanding that other people have their own thoughts, perceptions, and intentions separate from one’s own. It is part of seeing others as separate beings with their own agendas. To accommodate others, to predict their future behavior, to manipulate or please them, you must have this inbuilt capacity to guess something about who they are and what they might do or desire. Individuals with ASDs lack this ability to a staggering degree.
 
< My Thoughts >       “…other people…”
 
Who are these ‘other’ people? “…’blind’ to others’ mental states… to a staggering degree…” Our Sonny only seems to need ‘others’ when he can’t get to something, needs you to fix his TV, or wants to go somewhere. He has no indication that you may have any priorities at all. You are there to ‘serve’ him. Much like an infant’s early life is self-focused, so that you exist only when needed.
 
We are tolerated only when it serves Sonny’s purpose. Thus, asking him to stock blocks, work a puzzle, or turn the pages in a book, often leaves him confused; because it serves him no purpose.
 
As a mother, I know this; but, as a teacher working with a student in the classroom, I sometimes forget that. As a Special Education teacher, I try to follow the curriculum, teach lessons, and engage special needs students in instruction.

My students, however, are their primarily because they have been placed there against their will. Their day has been severely interrupted by delivering them to school. True, that on occasions, a ‘teachable moment’ occurs; fleeting as it may be. But basically, I am annoyingly intruding into their world, asking for behavior which serves no motivation to them.
 
Davide-Rivera, J. (2013)   92%    It took 38 years for me to be diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome (AS), as a form of high functioning autism – 38 years of confusing experiences.
 
53%   One of the first things that I learned about my Asperger’s diagnosis is that there are three core deficits that accompany this condition – the lack of theory of mind, executive dysfunction, and weak central coherence. There are also a host of other issues like sensory processing difficulties – being hyper or hypo sensitive to outside stimuli like to heat, cold, or pain.
 
< My Thoughts >     “…the lack of theory of mind …”
 
Lack of ‘theory of mind (ToM),’ is also thinking that everyone is having the same ‘sensory experience’ that you are. Believing that everyone’s’ world mirrors yours exactly.
 
Cariello, C. & Capell, J. (2015)   11%    I’ve often thought that Jack does not appear to experience a full range of emotions in the same way you or I might. His spectrum disorder seems to prohibit his emotional pendulum from swinging widely across a landscape of feelings that often include shame and humility and empathy and amusement. But after the initial shock of having broken his dad’s mug… the pendulum swung a little wider. He cycled a new set of emotions: sorrow, regret, and (to some degree) grief.
 
< My Thoughts >   “…the pendulum swung a little wider.”
 
Children with autism may fail formal ‘theory of mind’ tests, but at times, show real-time understanding of another’s perspective. Especially, when the person with ASD is intimately involved. They get a glimpse of ‘cause & effect’. Momentarily, they may understand that the one thing that happened, has caused another thing to happen. Jack intuited that because he had broken his father’s favorite morning coffee mug, his dad couldn’t start his day. Interruption of ‘routine’ is devastating to those with ASD. Jack had interrupted his father’s routine. Thus, Jack expected his father to be devastated, because he would have been.
 
Bogdashina, O. (2011) 45%  …believes that having a new experience gives perception a new and different emphasis. Like the same handful of sand that is formed into different patterns. She says that we learn how to restructure experiences in order to reflect what is needed from us in the environment. New interpretations give us many different perspectives of reality compared to the ‘bubble’ formed around us so we perceive only the reflection of our own world view; such as autistic individuals tend to do.
 
References:
 
Baron-Cohen, S. (1995). Mindblindness: An essay on autism and theory of mind. Cambridge, MA; London: The MIT Press.
 
Bogdashina, O.( 2011). Autism and the Edges of the Known World: Sensitivities, Language & Constructed Reality; eBook.
 
Cariello, C.(2015). What Color is Monday? How Autism Changed One Family for the Better; eBooks.
 
Cariello, C. & Capell, J. (2015). Someone I’m With Has Autism; eBook.

Davide-Rivera, J. (2013) Twirling Naked in the Streets & No One Noticed; Growing Up with Autism; eBook.

Staff Writer (2008). Social Issues; Kennedy Krieger Institute. Retrieved online from:
https://www.kennedykrieger.org › stories › social_issues


 
​

Secondhand Autism by Paul Brodie, eBook 2013; with < My Thoughts > by Sara Luker

Excerpts from the book – (5% indicates location in the Kindle version of the book, instead of page numbers).
 
< Excerpts from my Extended Book Review of Paul Brodie’s book. >
 
Brodie, P. (2013)   5%     This is my experience and understanding of a major influencing aspect of my life, through my own lens of perspective, presented as such.
 
Secondhand autism, as a phrase, incorporates the negative connotation of secondhand smoke with my struggle in relating to autism and represents my experience, personal and observed, with what autism does to the family members of the individual with the diagnosis.

3%       Secondhand autism, just like autism itself, is a unique condition, sometimes at odds with itself. Although autism is unique to an individual the effects reach parents and siblings without prejudice.
 
Green, L. (2013) says “a child with autism within a family unit presents a unique set of circumstances for the siblings to navigate.  A lot depends on whether or not there is a strong family system.  Autism is frustrating and siblings are sometimes affected in either a positive or negative way.”

Brodie, P. (2013)   My siblings are: Laura (33 years), Paul (Me, 31 years, author of this book), John (29 years), Scott (25 years), Alison (23 years) and Shannon (14 years). 
 
Paul  23%     Scott could not be autistic on his own. Our family has all been autistic with him.

67%     Every child needs to think they are their parent’s first priority once in awhile, I think. With Scott, every one of us knew he was first priority, and we would never be able to feel like we came first… I think it makes you a better person in some ways.
 
< My Thoughts >     “I think it makes you a better person in some ways.”

​Psychologists say that children learn how to ‘parent’ from watching themselves and their siblings being parented. Playing into each family member’s perspective is their own temperament and personality. Some of us are just naturally more needy, even co-dependent. While others of us can compartmentalize, staying flexible, and resilient to daily stress.
 
Sicile-Kira, C. (2014) says, “On the positive side, many siblings develop a maturity and sense of responsibility greater than that of their peers, take pride in the accomplishments of their brother or sister, and develop a strong sense of loyalty,”

Brodie, P. (2013)   Alison (Scott’s sister Alison’s perspective) 67%     One time…Scott seemed agitated and wanted something from the fridge.  I walked by and saw so I stopped to open it for him.  I was having difficulty with the combination lock… so he suddenly pushed me towards the fridge, really hard.  I think that was the moment I realized Scott had the temper of a toddler, but the strength of a man…
 
< My Thoughts >     “I realized Scott had the temper of a toddler, but the strength of a man…”

As our Sonny becomes older and stronger, he also becomes more determined, crafty, and focused on his “I want it, and I want it now” behavior. Safety of anyone perceived to be standing in his way could be in danger.

Green, L. (2013), “Siblings eventually develop awareness that the individual with ASD is often unable to control their behavior, resulting in some forbearance on the part of the sibling.” Eventually they realize that they are unable to control an unwanted behavior…”  Resulting in the sibling feeling unsafe and anxious when left alone with them.

Brodie, P. (2013)  78%    Another early memory was at school standing in line with my best friend, Jeff…  I recall telling him that my brother was autistic.  He said something to the effect of, “That’s cool, so he can draw really well or something?”  I said, “Autistic, not artistic.”  And this began my life of trying to understand autism and explain it to others.
 
79%     …Being in public was extremely difficult for me because I had irrational thoughts and fears of attention. This made it extremely difficult for me to take Scott anywhere, just me and him, or to be with him at all in public as he often invited attention. 
 
Thankfully, I’ve been able to work through the anxiety pretty well for myself, but even now, at 31…I still feel anxious thinking about taking Scott somewhere by myself. 
 
< My Thoughts >    “I still feel anxious thinking about taking Scott somewhere by myself.”

Hypervigilance is necessary when engaging with a person with autism, especially when they have periods of ‘hyper-activity. We are constantly assessing how our Sonny is doing, in all settings. On a good day, he seems to be enjoying himself and us. But, on those not so good days, he is most likely to express unwanted behavior. It is important to remember that he is not just trying to give us a bad time; he’s having a bad time.
 
Green, L. (2013), “Siblings experience empathy, sympathy, fear, anxiety, and social isolation. They also become frightened of the child’s abnormal behavior, but this is usually overcome by a strong sense of responsibility and feeling obligated to help their parents, and to protect the individual with autism.”
 
< End of excerpts from my Extended Book Review of Paul Brodie’s book. >

My regards to Paul Brodie for writing such an insightful book. Please read and share. Find my Extended Book Review and a link to purchase the book on MENU under, Secondhand Autism  www.sarasautismsite.com
 
Sara Luker
 
References:

Green, L. (2013). The Well-Being of Siblings of Individuals with Autism; ISRN Neurology; Vol 2013; Art. 417194.
​
Sicile-Kira, C. (2014). Autism Spectrum Disorder (revised): The Complete Guide to Understanding Autism; New York, New York: Penguin Random House Company. 

Happy 4th of July!

​FIREWORKS SAFETY
 
Fireworks can brighten celebrations. Proper fireworks safety can keep the festivities going longer, protecting spectators from injury.
 
SAFETY TIPS

• Never smoke or consume alcohol when lighting fireworks.
• Only light one firework at a time.
• Never attempt to re-light or fix a “dud” firework.
• Use extreme caution when lighting fireworks in the wind.
• Fireworks can backfire or shoot off in the wrong direction.
• Keep spectators free & away from smoke & debris.
• Always douse all fireworks with plenty of water before throwing it away to prevent starting a trash fire.
• Never attempt to make or alter any fireworks or firework devices.
• Always have a fire extinguisher, or bucket of water, nearby.
• Think about pets. Animals have sensitive ears and can become very frightened by fireworks sounds.
• Store fireworks in a cool, dry place away from the reach of children.

Fireworks noise can cause severe stress and reaction. During fireworks activities, individuals may be overwhelmed by ‘sensory’ stimuli; or, react in the throes of a PTSD) flashback. This can be especially true for persons with autism.

Please SHARE & Comment.

Regards.
Sara Luker