MEMORIAL DAY 2023
Thoughts today for all of the 'Fallen Heros' and their families.

Memorial Day, which is celebrated in the United States on the last Monday in May,
honors service members who have died in military service to their nation.
 
While Memorial Day honors the fallen, many military still serving have family members with Autism. Unfortunately, the number of diagnosed autism cases is steadily increasing in the U.S.
 
< My Thoughts >    "...military still serving have family members..."
 
There are VA Aid & Alliance benefits which can provide monies for veterans
and veteran’s families which need assistance with basic activities of living.
You might find VA websites helpful to explore.
 
A VA pension also benefits dependents and survivors, with like compensation
for minor children and adult children who became disabled before age 18 can be
​eligible for pension benefits.

Mandu Usoro (2021), Autism Advocate, suggests teaching children how to fly the national flag of the United States of America, on Memorial Day.

"The American flag is an important symbol of our country, and children will take part in the significance and tradition of raising the stars and stripes."

"This is a great activity for children to participate in,
especially if they have sensory preferences. They can touch and feel the flag
​and will enjoy folding it at the end of the day."

"You can explain to your children that you’ll fly the flag at half-mast until noon,
since the holiday is about honoring fallen service members. At noon, you can return outside to raise the flag to full mast, where it should remain until the end of the day."

"Take time to practice the Pledge of Allegiance with your children
and to salute the flag during the National Moment of Remembrance
at 3 p.m. local time."

"...come up with ideas for how you and your children can
honor service members going forward, not just on Memorial Day."

< My Thoughts >    "ideas for how you and your children can
honor service members..."

Research the members of your family who have served their country in the Military.
Find pictures, tell stories, and take a flag to their gravesite.

Vrabel (2023) “Can you join the military if you are on the Autism Spectrum? If you were diagnosed with autism during your childhood, your condition might be a red flag for military disqualification. The good news is that you may still join, but you have to pass through a number of significant hurdles before you can make it into the military.”
 
< My Thoughts >         “…join the military…”
 
In recent years, it seems that some branches of the military have relaxed their enlistment requirements. But, if you have been diagnosed with Autism and do not disclose it, you could face federal charges. Most military doctors are not prepared to ‘diagnose’ autism.
 
When recruitment goals are high, military branches may appreciate the autistic applicant’s ability to focus on tasks, ahere to routines, follow orders without question, and always feel dedicated. The autistic applicant may also be considered if s/he has previous training from public school; such as Junior Reserve Officers Training Corps (JROTC), and/or private military school training.

References: 

Usoro, Mandu (2021). HomeSchool Special Needs Tidbits; Retrieved online from:
https://www.time4learning.com/homeschooling/special-needs/? She can also be reached at her Twitter address: @HSSNTidBits
 
Vrabel, Rob (2023). Can you join the military with Autism?; Retrieved online from:
https://www.operationmilitarykids.org/can-you-join-the-military-with-autism/

HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY!!!, with < My Thoughts  > by Sara Luker
 
You may never get the expected ‘hugs’ or ‘love’ words, but you know they are there even if your child cannot emotionally express them.
 
Here are just some ‘Mom excerpts’ from my ‘Extended Book Reviews’; with < My Thoughts  > by Sara Luker which can be found on my website MENU. Also, find similar quotes from 'those who have gone before us' in my FREE ASD BOOK, Know Autism, Know Your Child. Go to www.sarasautismsite.com.
 
From – Making Peace with Autism by Susan Senator, eBook 2006; Extended Book Review, with
< My Thoughts > by Sara Luker
 
I talked and read to the baby in utero. I read all kinds of mother-to-be books. We were so well prepared that we didn’t think anything could go wrong. This illusion was deepened by our comfortable backgrounds and the fact that we lived in a society that promoted the idea of family life as a Hallmark card.  
 
Susan Senator is also the author of –The Autism Mom’s Survival Guide (for Dad’s, too!): Creating a Balanced and Happy Life While Raising a Child with Autism by Susan Senator, eBook 2011; Extended Book Review, with < My Thoughts > by Sara Luker
 
The sun will come up tomorrow and we will still have autism within our family. I can choose how I live it. We do not have to trade ourselves for our children, or our happiness for our children’s happiness. Even something as confounding and difficult as autism in the family is not the end of a happy life. Once we understand that, we will get there and it will all be OK.

One day you will feel that something inside you has shifted, lightened. When you look at your child, you no longer see a mass of problems, a broken thing to be fixed; you see you kid, just your kid. One day you will know that it’s just your life, warts, autism, and all. And you can’t wait to start living it to its fullest. Once you know this…you have just won the game.
 
From – Building in Circles: The Best of Autism Mom by Elizabeth W. Barnes, eBook 2014; Extended Book Review, with < My Thoughts > by Sara Luker
 
My name is Elizabeth and I am an Autism Mom. Our son, who we call the Navigator, is nine and was diagnosed on the Autism Spectrum at the age of seven. Before his diagnosis, I had heard of Autism – non-verbal children who don’t like to be touched, who rocked, and who ritually lined things up.
 
There is no one thing or even series of things that work all the time, or are even discernible as a pattern. There is a need for constant analysis and creativity, which is exhausting and sometimes seemingly fruitless. There is no cookie-cutter approach.
 
From – Twirling Naked in the Streets and No One Noticed; Growing Up with Autism by Jeannie Davide-Rivera, eBooks 2013; Extended Book Review, with < My Thoughts > by Sara Luker
 
To my mother, I was just being difficult; I wanted to do things my own way. I had a mind of my own and no one was going to change it – ever.

< My Thoughts >        “I was just being difficult…”

So often at home and at school, the child feels ‘marginalized’ and ‘isolated’ from the group and their peers.  When parents and/or teachers see a child as ‘just being difficult’ it does great harm to that child’s well-being and sense of self.  And while they may not be able to ‘read’ people’s feelings and emotions, somehow they know how people view them. 

After a long humiliating day of school, I had nothing left – no brain power or discipline. There was no way in the world homework was getting done. I suspect that many autistic children have this difficulty. By the time they arrive home, school has sucked all the life out of them.

< My Thoughts >  “…school has sucked all the life out of them.”

Often, they have no way to tell us that “After a long humiliating day of school, I had nothing left – no brain power or discipline…”

Hedges, et al. (2014) put things into perspective for both teachers and parents. Their study found that educators felt that parents did not have realistic expectations for their children with ASD.  And, parents felt that many educators, special education teachers included, often did not really know enough about ASD to be able to support students effectively.

For example, the viewpoint of the school personnel was that they would see the student as more capable than he or she actually was. Or, they would see them as lazy or uncooperative, even stubborn.  They also felt that the child was probably being ‘coddled’ at home, this contributing to the problem.

< My Thoughts >             “…coddled’ at home,…”

Define – ‘coddled’ at home! Children with autism are not giving you a bad time… they are having a bad time.

Reference:
Hedges, S., Kirby, A., Sreckovic, M., Hume, K., Pace, S. (2014); Falling through the Cracks: Challenges for High School Students with Autism Spectrum Disorder; High School Journal, Vol.98 Issue 1, p64-82.
 
From – Twirling Naked in the Streets and No One Noticed; Growing Up with Autism by Jeannie Davide-Rivera, eBooks 2013; Extended Book Review, with < My Thoughts > by Sara Luker
My boys now know I’m an Aspie, and to my 2 year-old I’m still just Mama. To my 8 year-old Aspie son, I’m still just mom. To my 13 year-old Aspie son, I am part mom, part superhero (according to him, my super-senses are super powers). 

I rejoice in my Aspie-ness, and if you are on the spectrum, or someone you love is, you should too.
It took 38 years for me to be diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome (AS), as a form of high functioning autism – 38 years of confusing experiences.

< My Thoughts >         “…38 years of confusing experiences.”

The rest of her life is so worth reading about.  Her Aspie-ness shines as she rewards us with an understanding of why they say “autism spectrum.”
​
From – Knowing Autism by Lorca Damon, eBook 2012; Extended Book Review, with < My Thoughts > by Sara Luker.
 
Because those with autism seldom ‘store’ experiences, they never seem to fully understand that we mean when we say…“no, not right now, maybe later when mom isn’t so busy!”

Happy Mother’s Day!

       Thank An Educator Today!

​Thank an educator today and every day. This week, May 8 – 12, is Teacher Appreciation Week. General Education and Special Education educators spend years becoming qualified and certified to teach your child. Parents are the child’s first and foremost teacher and professional educators welcome your support. 

Help support the Special Education teacher’s sometimes subtle teaching of necessary ‘Soft Skills’. These are skills which make life so much easier.

Here are some of the ‘Soft Skills’ teachers work on, daily with autistic students –
​

1. Communication. Since social communication is often a ‘core’ symptom of autism, it is so important that each child has his or her best form of communication. Is your child’s keyboarding, storyboarding, or an alternative and/or facilitated form?
2. Self-motivation. Many students with autism spend hours trapped in their own world of motivation and/or interest. Knowing their special interests helps teachers use that as a ‘hook’ to lead the learning process. What is your child’s ‘hook’?
3. Leadership to lead and inspire others. Because our students may seem to ‘wander’ as opposed to ‘lead’, teaching this skill requires a great deal of creativity and ingenuity. Discovering the student’s preferences, when working in a small group, may be the answer. Do they like to specify, clarify, verify, or document? Assign a task with which they can both excel and lead.
4. Responsibility. This requires productivity and success. The autistic world mostly consists of living in the ‘here and now’, not in the ‘future’. It also requires choosing ‘priorities’, putting things in ‘perspective’, and understanding ‘consequences’. How can you help your child with these concepts?
5. Time Management. The student with autism is often fighting to stay in a routine. This can be an advantage when managing time. But, the concept of ‘time’ is difficult because this person does not embrace change, nor understand the ‘intervals’ of time. Will visual schedules help your child with this?

Another ‘support’ in the classroom comes from the Paraprofessional. They also are a big part of a student’s learning experience.
​
Asking for ways to support these efforts will be greatly appreciated. And, always welcomed is a simple ‘Thank You’ for all that you do.