HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY!!! (for Autism Fathers, too!), with < My Thoughts  > by Sara Luker
 
You may never get the expected ‘hugs’ or ‘love’ words, but you know they are there even if your child cannot emotionally express them.
 
Here are just some ‘Mom & Dad excerpts’ from my ‘Extended Book Reviews’; with < My Thoughts  > by Sara Luker which can be found on my website MENU. Go to www.sarasautismsite.com.
 
From – Knowing Autism by Lorca Damon, eBook 2012; with < My Thoughts > by Sara Luker.
 
Because those with autism seldom ‘store’ experiences, they never seem to fully understand that we mean when we say…“no, not right now, maybe later when mom isn’t so busy”…or, “soon as your dad gets home.”
 
From – Making Peace with Autism by Susan Senator, eBook 2006; with < My Thoughts > by Sara Luker
 
I talked and read to the baby in utero. I read all kinds of mother-to-be books. We were so well prepared that we didn’t think anything could go wrong. This illusion was deepened by our comfortable backgrounds and the fact that we lived in a society that promoted the idea of family life as a Hallmark card.  
 
Making Peace with Autism is the story of a family – a husband, wife and three sons – and our struggle to incorporate out oldest son’s autism into our lives. With this book I hope to convey that despite the tremendous challenges that autism brings, you can find happiness as a family – even if you don’t find a miracle cure. Here’s how we’ve done it.
 
Susan Senator is also the author of –The Autism Mom’s Survival Guide (for Dad’s, too!): Creating a Balanced and Happy Life While Raising a Child with Autism by Susan Senator, eBook 2011; with < My Thoughts > by Sara Luker
 
The sun will come up tomorrow and we will still have autism within our family. I can choose how I live it. We do not have to trade ourselves for our children, or our happiness for our children’s happiness. Even something as confounding and difficult as autism in the family is not the end of a happy life. Once we understand that, we will get there and it will all be OK.

One day you will feel that something inside you has shifted, lightened. When you look at your child, you no longer see a mass of problems, a broken thing to be fixed; you see you kid, just your kid. One day you will know that it’s just your life, warts, autism, and all. And you can’t wait to start living it to its fullest. Once you know this…you have just won the game.
 
From – Building in Circles: The Best of Autism Mom by Elizabeth W. Barnes, eBook 2014; with < My Thoughts > by Sara Luker
 
My name is Elizabeth and I am an Autism Mom. Our son, who we call the Navigator, is nine and was diagnosed on the Autism Spectrum at the age of seven. Before his diagnosis, I had heard of Autism – non-verbal children who don’t like to be touched, who rocked, and who ritually lined things up.
 
There is no one thing or even series of things that work all the time, or are even discernible as a pattern. There is a need for constant analysis and creativity, which is exhausting and sometimes seemingly fruitless. Because there is no cookie-cutter approach, I developed a website and blog in case our experiences could help others.
 
That website is Autism Mom and it includes blog articles, resources, tools and strategies. My hope is to offer other parents and loved ones of children with Autism valuable lessons learned and creative resources which they can use and tailor for themselves.
 
From – Twirling Naked in the Streets and No One Noticed; Growing Up with Autism by Jeannie Davide-Rivera, eBooks 2013; with < My Thoughts > by Sara Luker
 
Some of my earliest memories were of my imaginary friends, but those friends were “real” people to me, friends who were a part of my very first all-consuming special interest – baseball.
 
By the time I was three years old, I memorized the entire Yankee line-up, including stats. Dad was proud of my fact memorizing capabilities. When my father could not throw the ball back and forth with me in the driveway, my “baseball men” were there to help with my training. I was obsessed with baseball; I was obsessed with my “baseball men.” They were my friends.
 
From –  I Know You’re In There: Winning Our War Against Autism by Marcia Hinds, eBook 2014; with < My Thoughts > by Sara Luker
 
As dads, it was our duty to preserve the family unit. Any threats to the stability of the family must be dealt with. And our autistic sons were a definite threat. But, that didn’t stop me from leaving military school websites on the computer desktop after a bad day with Ryan. Marcia spends hours conversing with other moms via online autism groups, e-mail, and phone. But dad-to-dad, that just had never happened. Men don’t share – food, toys, feelings, NOTHING. But with this dad, I decided I was going to break all the guy rules. 
 
< My Thoughts > by Sara Luker –
 
Just so you know – Mom & Dad both share 100% of the genetic responsibility for the child. Each person is made of 50% of their mother’s DNA and 50% of their father’s DNA.
 
Find the following books written by Autism DADs in Extended Book Reviews with < My Thoughts > on MENU; sarasautismsite.com ~
 
Autism: Triplet Twist eBook 2013 by James Potvin
 
Autism: Turning On the Light eBook 2013 by Keith Ambersley
 
Secondhand Autism eBook 2013 by Paul Brodie
 
The Horse Boy & the Long Ride Home eBook 2009 by Rupert Isaacson

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The DSM-5 (2013) American Psychiatric Association: Diagnostic & Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (5th Edition), states the following criteria as, along with other criteria on the checklist, a sign of Autism. Criteria especially deficits in language & back-&-forth conversation; plus, highly restricted, fixed interests and/or focus of abnormal intensity. These symptoms of autism are present in developmental period, but may not manifest until social demands exceed the child’s capacities.
 
Staff Writers (2022) say that children with Autism have persistent difficulties, beginning in the developmental period. Problems with the social use of verbal & nonverbal communication which are not better explained by another reason, such as having Non-Verbal Learning Disability (NVLD). A child with Autism, depending on the Level of Severity, has difficulty with age-appropriate spoken language. While the child with NVLD, has a wide vocabulary & strong language skills.

< My Thoughts >             “‘Level of Severity’…”

Autism Spectrum Disorder, Level 1 – The individual ‘Requires Support’ for daily functions. This is the mildest form of autism.

Autism Spectrum Disorder, Level 2 – The individual ‘Requires Substantial Support’ for daily functions. Due to narrow interests combined with purposeless repetitive behaviors.

Autism Spectrum Disorder, Level 3 – The individual ‘Requires Very Substantial Support’ for daily functions. Like Levels 1 & 2, but to an extreme degree.  Staff writers (2022)

Authors go on to say that another possible comparison is that of ‘visual-spatial’ processing. Both may experience this in ways which make them seem disoriented, clumsy, or focused on one detail, instead of the ‘big picture’.
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A child with ‘repetitive behavior’ as a possible tool for self-calming can include repeating phrases or pacing back & forth. 

< My Thoughts >             “…‘visual-spatial’ processing & …‘repetitive behavior’…”

‘Visual-spatial’ processing requires organizing visual information into meaningful patterns, plus understanding how these patterns operate/function. Such as the mathematic rules of operation & processing; or, the ability to see the 3-diamensional aspects of objects during observation.

A child with ‘repetitive behavior’ may repeat phrases from TV commercials, their favorite movie characters’ dialog, or something they’ve heard in a song. Our non-verbal son usually responds laughingly to my demands when prefaced by Buzz Lightyear’s phrase – “I have a laser, & I will use it!”

According to the Staff Writers (2022) poor spatial skills, paired with good language skills, are the essential features required in the diagnosis of Non-Verbal Learning Disability (NVLD). But, this is often undiagnosed or misdiagnosed until noticed by teachers when the student is having difficulty with grade-level school performance. Students may then be referred to additional professionals for observation & testing. This would be necessary to determine if the child has Autism or a ​Non-Verbal Learning Disability (NVLD).

REFERENCES:

DSM-5 (2013). American Psychiatric Association: Diagnostic & Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (5th Edition).

Staff Writers (2022). Retrieved online from – https://www.verywellhealth.com/what-are-the-three-levels-of-autism-260233.