Aggression, violence, and other challenging behavior may really be signs of Sensory Issues. Denman, et al. (2016) say… Families of a child diagnosed with autism can find themselves trying to understand their child’s behavior while on the waiting list for ‘formal diagnosis.’ How this ‘parental making sense’ of behaviors affects parenting. Continuing saying that confusions can also occur with children who have insecure attachment patterns and sensory impairments.
Also that it is hard for parents to understand how a slight change in routine can cause a child to have a ‘meltdown’ in the middle of the street. At the same time, parents are concerned about the need to present a ‘positive identity’ to others; while allowing ‘face saving’ while around friends and family members.
< My Thoughts > Uninformed society says, “Bad kid… bad parenting… or both.” Or as someone so appropriately stated… “He’s not giving me a bad time…” “He’s having a bad time…”
What I am offering here are powerful stories which may capture at this moment, what it is like to have this experience.
What Color is Monday? How Autism Changed One Family for the Better by Carrie Cariello, eBooks 2015 Edition; with < My Thoughts > by Sara Luker
Focused Excerpts from the book (13% indicates location in the Kindle version of the book, instead of page numbers.)
13% We accepted the diagnosis and forged ahead, getting Jack into as many services as we could. I do think in the back of our minds we both harbored the notion that he would outgrow this, that his symptoms would diminish and he would blossom into a typical child.
14% Jack was very difficult that spring. In his preschool back in Buffalo he’d started biting and kicking both kids and teachers, and everyone seemed at a loss as how to control his behavior. At home he’d started to hit both Joe and I, and to get into mischief…
< My Thoughts > “…he’d started to hit both Joe and I…”
Frea, et al. (2001), tell us that “…exhibiting extremely challenging behaviors can be improved with some sort of intact communication system which allows the child to express choices and preferences, in all settings.”
REFERENCES used here are:
Frea, W., Arnold, C., Vittimberga, G., Koegel, R. (2001). A Demonstration of the Effects of Augmentative Communication on the Extreme Aggressive Behavior of a Child With Autism Within an Integrated Preschool Setting; Journal of Positive Behavior Interventions; Vol.3:4, p194.
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I Wish I Were Engulfed in Flames: My Insane Life Raising Two Boys with Autism by Jeni Decker; 2011 Edition; with < My Thoughts > by Sara Luker >
Focused Excerpts from the book (22% indicates location in the Kindle version of the book, instead of page numbers.)
22% I’d stopped at the drugstore to pick up a new prescription for Jaxson, the third in a series of medications to try and help prevent his aggressive behavior, particularly at school.
23% When I am in the store and my child suddenly rolls into tantrum mode, kicking and screaming and such, it’s not very helpful if a passerby says things like, “He needs is a good spanking,” or “You wouldn’t see my kid acting like that.” I want to say, “Go ahead and hit him, see if it works.” Or, “Bye, honey. This nice man is gonna take you home. Have fun…”
Okay, so I don’t actually do this. But I really, really want to.
24% I maneuvered to press Jaxson against the car with my body, fishing for my keys.
It took ten minutes to unlock the door and push my screaming child inside. I closed the door and stood there for a moment, taking a look at the nice bruise on my arm that was already forming, his little teeth imprints clearly in the center.
Suddenly a nice lady handed me the bag I’d dropped and smiled as Jaxson wailed inside the banging on the window, his voice only slightly muffled by the closed windows.
“He’s autistic,” was the only thing I could think of saying. “Yeah, I kind of guessed there was something going on there besides the regular old tantrum.
Can you get home okay?” she asked. My eyes filled with tears. “Yes, thanks. You have no idea how nice it is to have someone not judging me right now.”
“I think I can guess,” she smiled and then left for her car.
That day, I met an angel outside the Rite Aid drugstore.
< My Thoughts > “…You have no idea how nice it is to have someone not judging me right now.”
Again, the parents in the Hoogsteen & Woodgate (2013) study felt that their community members were unaware and uneducated about the challenges they faced when bringing their child with them when they shopped or visited in the community. Such as when the negative characteristics of autism were displayed,– tantrums, yelling, disruptive behavior, meltdowns, screaming, physical violence towards themselves and others.”
“Most people look at you and they just think he’s a bad kid… because he looks normal.” “What they think they see is bad parenting, a bad uncontrollable child, or just a rude disruption to their shopping experience.
Participating parents shared how difficult it is to feel that they are on their own… that most people out there are so judgmental and frustrating. One parent says “You get home, and you’re just destroyed because it replays in your mind. How do I make them understand?”
REFERENCES used here are:
Hoogsteen, L. & Woodgate, R. (2013). The Lived Experience of Parenting a Child With Autism in a Rural Area: Making the Invisible, Visible; Pediatric Nursing; V39:5.
< My Thoughts > What I am offering here is a powerful story which may capture at this moment, what it is like to have this experience.
A Spot on the Wall, by Martha Sqaresky; eBook 2014 Edition; with < My Thoughts > by Sara Luker
Focused Excerpts from the book (85% indicates location in the Kindle version of the book, instead of page numbers.)
85% Milestone Achievement Center. Age: twenty-one. We had renewed anxiety as more calls arrived at my desk at work, yet government regulations stipulated that in the event of a physical attack, parents had to be notified. As at every school, there can be violent incidents.
Greg had no concept of violence. If he entered someone’s space, he expected that someone to step back and make a new space.
If Greg entered the space of someone with anxiety issues before a teacher or aide spotted a problem, he got hit. It was fast, and it was unexpected.
85% Greg’s fingers showed evidence of his own personal attacks. For years during tantrums, he bit his fingers. Calluses built up to the point that when we held his hand, we felt the hard spots on each side of his index fingers.
To better understand why Greg exhibited this self-injurious behavior, I compared it to cutting. Cutters seek a release from the emotional pain that they are experiencing, and may cut on impulse.
Greg felt better when he bit his fingers. Maybe there was a release of endorphins that brought relief from whatever was causing Greg’s tantrums, thus making it a compulsive behavior. In many ways his puking mirrored cutting.
My hope was that Greg understood the pain inflicted on him by a fellow sufferer of autism as nothing personal. I wanted him to find peace from his personal demons as well.
< My Thoughts > “…but there is nothing ‘wrong.”
This is where parents may find themselves on the ‘slippery slope’. Bonnie Zampino (2016) writes – “We aren’t aware (of what ‘some’ autism looks like), not at all. But, we can open our eyes and understand that all autism isn’t about the high functioning child who is “quirky” but okay to be around. Neither is autism about the six-year-old who can play Piano Man better than Billy Joel. Autism can be sad. Autism can be messy. Autism can be violent. Autism can be isolating.”
Autism can be some of the things that Sonny does, such as self-injurious behavior (SIBs) that is compulsive, ritualistic, and some sort of stimulation or communication. Before finding a therapeutic dosage of medication to help him, he would also strike out to bite or hit others. He would stick a finger in his eye, poking and poking until restrained. There are other undesirable and even dangerous behaviors, which I will not go into. I’m sure you get the idea of how frightening this can be.
REFERENCES used here are:
Zampino, B. (2016). My Son Has the Kind of Autism Nobody Talks About – Term Life. Recently retrieved from: http://medicinetimes.info/2016/05/08/my-son-has-the-kind-of-tas-aout-term-life/
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< My Thoughts > What I am offering here is a powerful story which may capture at this moment, what it is like to have this experience.
See Beyond Behavior: BEHCA: a Method for Understanding & Influencing Behavior Change by Torri Wright (2018); beca.com; with < My Thoughts > by Sara Luker
Focused Excerpts from the book (32% indicates location in the Kindle version of the book, instead of page numbers.)
32% A behavior consultant is able to offer new insight for the entire family to digest and begin to shift the perspective needed to track and record behavior. An example would be – The family is concerned that Johnny seems to be an aggressive child, frequently hitting those in his environment.
Through BEHCA data collection the behavior consultant is able to find that Johnny is not doing this on purpose but as a sensory response to his environment. He is also not aware of how hard he is hitting.
33% Taking this further… perhaps Johnny’s behavior is due to his not knowing what his body is doing. He is lacking spatial awareness. Or, by slamming his body/arms into things or people, he is seeking sensory input. But, he is not intentionally trying to hurt anyone.
< My Thoughts > “He is not intentionally trying to hurt anyone.”
Now, when the behaviorist shares this information with family and teachers, they can see that Johnny is NOT an aggressive child. Johnny is engaging with his environment in the only way he knows how to, in order to satisfy his sensory needs. Note: Created by Torri Wright, BEHCA is a software application specific to collecting and analyzing data. It has the function to become a virtual communication among multiple environments.
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< My Thoughts > What I am offering here are powerful stories which may capture at this moment, what it is like to have this experience.
I Know You’re In There: Winning Our War on Autism by Marcia Hinds, 2014 eBook Edition; Extended Review with < My Thoughts > by Sara Luker
Focused Excerpts from the book (75% indicates location in the Kindle version of the book, instead of page numbers.)
75% Hitting was our dirty little secret. I never told anyone except Frank about Ryan’s aggressive behavior. The hitting stopped after I became more stubborn than my son and became more serious about enforcing consequences. Disrespect from either of my kids was my hot button. He finally learned the consequence of his behavior was the loss of more computer time.
Later, when I asked him why he stopped hitting me he said it was because I took away his beloved computer and wouldn’t give it back until he behaved the right way.
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< My Thoughts > What I am offering here is a powerful story which may capture at this moment, what it is like to have this experience.
Secondhand Autism by Paul Brodie; eBook 2013 Edition; with < My Thoughts > by Sara Luker
Focused Excerpts from the book (65% indicates location in the Kindle version of the book, instead of page numbers.)
65% Sibling Alison – I am never embarrassed at anything anymore since doing theatre; but put me in a store with Scott and my stress hits a peak and I think about it all day and I feel bad for Scott.
I took Scott out a lot to restaurants and stores and it was very stressful for me to even be in the car with him because I was afraid he would jump out of the car randomly (which he has done a few times). Some days, he wants to go do something, but most days he wants to say inside.
67% One time…Scott seemed agitated and wanted something from the fridge. I walked by and saw so I stopped to open it for him. I was having difficulty with the combination lock… so he suddenly pushed me towards the fridge, really hard. I think that was the moment I realized Scott had the temper of a toddler, but the strength of a man…
< My Thoughts > “I realized Scott had the temper of a toddler, but the strength of a man…”
Green (2013), “Siblings eventually develop awareness that the individual with ASD is often unable to control their behavior, resulting in some forbearance on the part of the sibling.” Eventually they realize that they are unable to control an unwanted behavior…” Resulting in the sibling feeling unsafe and anxious when left alone with them.
REFERENCES used here are:
Green, L. (2013). The Well-Being of Siblings of Individuals with Autism; ISRN Neurology; Vol 2013; Art. 417194.
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