Going 2 School BLOG 2024, continued. On MENU, please find Autism Goes to School, by Dr. Sharon Mitchell; an Extended Book Review with < My Thoughts > by Sara Luker. Plus, a LINK to purchase the book on Amazon. Also find on MENU, under Gallery: School on the Short Bus.
Autism Goes To School, by Dr. Sharon Mitchell (A fictional account…); an Extended Review with < My Thoughts > by Sara Luker
Excerpts from the book – (12% indicates location in the Kindle version of the eBook, instead of page numbers).
< My Thoughts > This is a fictional account. A story told by Ben, who is meeting his 5-year-old neurodivergent son Kyle for the very first time. A story of discovering what it means to be a single parent. A parent of a child who sees the world in a different way. Through the eyes of Ben, we get a glimpse of both the challenges and joys of parenting this child. A child he didn’t really know. A child Ben learned to share, not only with the part-time mother, but eventually with the teacher who taught both father and son.
12% Kyle was at school. Four little words. That sounded so simple but hell, it was not. Getting one small boy up, ready and to school took more organization skills than Ben certainly possessed. He ran a business with ten employees, handled million-dollar accounts, but could not manage one small boy.
17% Ben was early (to pick up his son at school), as he approached the kindergarten room, he heard screams. Kyle! Those were Kyle’s screams. Rushing in the room Ben spied his son on the floor. Kyle was tossing his head back and forth, kicking his heels and screaming. “What’s going on here?” Ben yelled. “What’s wrong with my son?”
“What you just witnessed was a ‘tantrum’. Kyle was mad because he didn’t get his way.
She exclaimed, “Tantrums are a good way to control others. Pitch a fit and people will give in. Is that the way you want your son to think?”
“It’s just hard to see,” Ben said, “He almost kicked you.”
“He’s a little boy and he’s still learning how to navigate his world,” she responded.
< My Thoughts > “Tantrums are a good way to control others.”
Sometimes the child can’t voice his/her fear and frustration; thus, a 'tantrum'. Perhaps they are having difficulty transitioning from one thing or place to another. Children with autism often resists change, due to their ritualistic nature. Possibly something happened earlier, which in the child’s mind unjustifiably hasn’t been resolved to their satisfaction. Maybe earlier, s/he was rushed to finish the task of eating breakfast, to meet someone else’s schedule. Because of the ritualistic nature of autism, this can bring about the fixated notion that s/he needs to go back and finish the task of eating breakfast. Children sometimes get stuck, and may perseverate on this, before s/he can move on to the next activity.
Morin, A. (2024) advocates that “The causes of tantrums and meltdowns are different. Tantrums usually have a purpose. Kids are ‘looking for a certain response.’ When responding to a tantrum, try acknowledging that you know what your child wants, without giving in. Calmly tell them the reason that their needs (wants) can’t be met. Or, tell them when they will be met.
Meltdowns are a reaction to something ‘sensory’ that is usually beyond a child’s control. When responding to a meltdown, help your child find a safe, quiet place away from the sensory distress, where they can deescalate."
< My Thoughts > "The causes of tantrums and meltdowns are different."
Simply put, a 'tantrumming' child is demanding a response to some perceived injustice. Tantrumming requires an audience; a person who will respond to, and/or meet the child's 'wants'. 'Meltdowns' are out of the child's control. He or she is having a 'sensory' crisis. This may be very painful, a Post Traumatic Stress-like episode. Something in the child's environment, over which they have no control, is causing a 'fight or flight' response.
21% Each week had been better than the last. Yet Ben’s efforts to bond with his son were showing few results. He wanted some small sign. Just then Kyle walked to the door then stood with his hand out, waiting for his dad to take it. Ben took Kyle’s small hand and saw that as a small sign of progress.
28% Ben had come to trust the teacher’s advice. Melanie explained that Kyle’s reactions had nothing to do with Ben. His reactions have more to do with something that’s going on inside him, some sensory sensitivities, some reaction to the environment, fatigue, or overload. Kyle likes to be held, she explained. “Some kids like light, feather touches on their skin, for others a firming touch is calming.” Kyle likes a firm touch, that’s why we place a weighted blanket over him when he’s upset.”
34% How was he to know what Kyle liked and what would scare him? This parenting business was all trial and error. Ben went to the kitchen to fix lunch. When he returned to get Kyle, he was awake and had turned on Dora the Explorer. They ate their lunch in silence, on the floor, watching the adventures of Dora.
< My Thoughts > “They ate their lunch in silence, on the floor, watching the adventures of Dora.”
Sonny is most times a typical 2-year-old in actions, although he is now actually 34 years old. Where does a 2-year-old play? On the floor. There is a structured autism behavior intervention model called DIR ‘Floortime’. For Sonny, we use the parts of the program protocol which seem to work for him, and for us. We take every opportunity to get down on the floor with him, when he initiates it. We are following his lead and interest. Therefore, when he responds to this ‘together’ time with giggles, or interacts with us; it is meaningful. Meaningful, not contrived, not forced, not a rote skill. Even if it’s only a type of ‘parallel play’ we are being tolerated in his world… for the moment. A moment we cherish.
Note: Read more about behavior in my Free ASD Book – Know Autism, Know Your Child, under UNIT 3 What Is Most Concerning?; Chapter 3 – Cognition, Theory of Mind, & Temperament/Personality.
Also, find more about Visual Supports in Social Story - 3 Parts, on MENU Previous BLOGs; beginning 7/29/2020. Power Cards BLOG, on 4/10/2020.
Autism Goes To School, by Dr. Sharon Mitchell (A fictional account…); an Extended Review with < My Thoughts > by Sara Luker
Excerpts from the book – (12% indicates location in the Kindle version of the eBook, instead of page numbers).
< My Thoughts > This is a fictional account. A story told by Ben, who is meeting his 5-year-old neurodivergent son Kyle for the very first time. A story of discovering what it means to be a single parent. A parent of a child who sees the world in a different way. Through the eyes of Ben, we get a glimpse of both the challenges and joys of parenting this child. A child he didn’t really know. A child Ben learned to share, not only with the part-time mother, but eventually with the teacher who taught both father and son.
12% Kyle was at school. Four little words. That sounded so simple but hell, it was not. Getting one small boy up, ready and to school took more organization skills than Ben certainly possessed. He ran a business with ten employees, handled million-dollar accounts, but could not manage one small boy.
17% Ben was early (to pick up his son at school), as he approached the kindergarten room, he heard screams. Kyle! Those were Kyle’s screams. Rushing in the room Ben spied his son on the floor. Kyle was tossing his head back and forth, kicking his heels and screaming. “What’s going on here?” Ben yelled. “What’s wrong with my son?”
“What you just witnessed was a ‘tantrum’. Kyle was mad because he didn’t get his way.
She exclaimed, “Tantrums are a good way to control others. Pitch a fit and people will give in. Is that the way you want your son to think?”
“It’s just hard to see,” Ben said, “He almost kicked you.”
“He’s a little boy and he’s still learning how to navigate his world,” she responded.
< My Thoughts > “Tantrums are a good way to control others.”
Sometimes the child can’t voice his/her fear and frustration; thus, a 'tantrum'. Perhaps they are having difficulty transitioning from one thing or place to another. Children with autism often resists change, due to their ritualistic nature. Possibly something happened earlier, which in the child’s mind unjustifiably hasn’t been resolved to their satisfaction. Maybe earlier, s/he was rushed to finish the task of eating breakfast, to meet someone else’s schedule. Because of the ritualistic nature of autism, this can bring about the fixated notion that s/he needs to go back and finish the task of eating breakfast. Children sometimes get stuck, and may perseverate on this, before s/he can move on to the next activity.
Morin, A. (2024) advocates that “The causes of tantrums and meltdowns are different. Tantrums usually have a purpose. Kids are ‘looking for a certain response.’ When responding to a tantrum, try acknowledging that you know what your child wants, without giving in. Calmly tell them the reason that their needs (wants) can’t be met. Or, tell them when they will be met.
Meltdowns are a reaction to something ‘sensory’ that is usually beyond a child’s control. When responding to a meltdown, help your child find a safe, quiet place away from the sensory distress, where they can deescalate."
< My Thoughts > "The causes of tantrums and meltdowns are different."
Simply put, a 'tantrumming' child is demanding a response to some perceived injustice. Tantrumming requires an audience; a person who will respond to, and/or meet the child's 'wants'. 'Meltdowns' are out of the child's control. He or she is having a 'sensory' crisis. This may be very painful, a Post Traumatic Stress-like episode. Something in the child's environment, over which they have no control, is causing a 'fight or flight' response.
21% Each week had been better than the last. Yet Ben’s efforts to bond with his son were showing few results. He wanted some small sign. Just then Kyle walked to the door then stood with his hand out, waiting for his dad to take it. Ben took Kyle’s small hand and saw that as a small sign of progress.
28% Ben had come to trust the teacher’s advice. Melanie explained that Kyle’s reactions had nothing to do with Ben. His reactions have more to do with something that’s going on inside him, some sensory sensitivities, some reaction to the environment, fatigue, or overload. Kyle likes to be held, she explained. “Some kids like light, feather touches on their skin, for others a firming touch is calming.” Kyle likes a firm touch, that’s why we place a weighted blanket over him when he’s upset.”
34% How was he to know what Kyle liked and what would scare him? This parenting business was all trial and error. Ben went to the kitchen to fix lunch. When he returned to get Kyle, he was awake and had turned on Dora the Explorer. They ate their lunch in silence, on the floor, watching the adventures of Dora.
< My Thoughts > “They ate their lunch in silence, on the floor, watching the adventures of Dora.”
Sonny is most times a typical 2-year-old in actions, although he is now actually 34 years old. Where does a 2-year-old play? On the floor. There is a structured autism behavior intervention model called DIR ‘Floortime’. For Sonny, we use the parts of the program protocol which seem to work for him, and for us. We take every opportunity to get down on the floor with him, when he initiates it. We are following his lead and interest. Therefore, when he responds to this ‘together’ time with giggles, or interacts with us; it is meaningful. Meaningful, not contrived, not forced, not a rote skill. Even if it’s only a type of ‘parallel play’ we are being tolerated in his world… for the moment. A moment we cherish.
Note: Read more about behavior in my Free ASD Book – Know Autism, Know Your Child, under UNIT 3 What Is Most Concerning?; Chapter 3 – Cognition, Theory of Mind, & Temperament/Personality.
Also, find more about Visual Supports in Social Story - 3 Parts, on MENU Previous BLOGs; beginning 7/29/2020. Power Cards BLOG, on 4/10/2020.
The “DIR/Floortime Model” – is called that because the “D” part means we focus directly working on what the child needs’ like working on engagement or two-way communication. The “I” is focusing in on the child’s individual ways of dealing with sensory sensations; like being ‘over’ or ‘under’ reactive. The “R” is learning relationships which are tailored to the child’s nervous system; meeting them where they are, developmentally. All of this, makes DIR ‘floortime’ a special kind of play.
Note: Read more about ‘floortime’ aka DIR, in my Free ASD Book – Know Autism, Know Your Child, under Who May Help? UNIT 7 – 1 OTHER THERAPIES; Section 1: ABA, CBT, DIR, OT, PECS.
13% “Routine is so important to kids like Kyle. When you have autism, the world can be a scary place. It can seem that things come at you from all sides. You’re contending with the sensory issues when every touch, every sound, every light can feel like just too much,” Kyle’s teacher admonished Ben.
15% She tried again, “Look, I’ll try to explain. Kyle is a visual learner, rather than an auditory learner. Kyle can take in information he sees much better than what he hears.”
16% “…our classroom runs on routines. These routines are taught using pictures. There are pictures all over the room.”
She told Ben, “Make a list of the things you want Kyle to do in the morning. Leave it on my desk and I’ll try to have some visuals ready for you when you pick him up this afternoon. And remember, show him, don’t tell him…stop nagging.”
< My Thoughts > “…visuals…"
‘Visuals’ may take several forms. There are ‘picture’ step-by-step task cards showing how to eat breakfast, get dressed, or similar ‘life skill’ tasks. Other visuals, like ‘visual schedules’ can show students what to expect, and when. These can support learning and help teach self-help and social skills.
Several things need to be kept in mind when creating and designing helpful ‘visuals’. Not all students are visual learners. Sometimes the visual schedule may be used, but should be accompanied by an auditory backup, or Smart Phone App.
Another thing to remember is that the visuals should be age appropriate and meet the person at their level of understanding. If the person is very ‘literal’, which many with ASD are, then you may need to take actual photos to use on their schedule; instead of graphics. Also, they may not be able to ‘generalize’ (use the same routine in a different place). So, if Kyle is expected to shower at grandmas on Saturday, that should be explained. You may even need to make a separate schedule to take there. Have the child help you. Making things ‘easy’ isn’t always that easy. Again, many things are ‘trial & error’.
16% The next morning, Ben showed Kyle pictures (‘picture’ step-by-step task cards) of socks, underwear, pants, and shirts, explaining to Kyle that this was how he was to get dressed. Ben removed each picture as that job was completed. When Kyle was dressed, Ben announced, “Good job, Kyle.”
Encouraged, they moved on to the bathroom. Again, it worked, with only a minimum of coaching, Kyle looked at the cards to see what was next. Ben tapped the appropriate card to draw his son’s attention back to the task at hand. Eventually, Kyle took the card himself, putting it back in the envelope.”
< My Thoughts > “…putting it back in the envelope.”
This requires the ‘level of understanding and skill’, as referred to previously. Requiring Kyle to initiate the choosing, sorting, organizing, and replacing cards in an envelope, may be a bit beyond most children at his age. Our Sonny has a small photo album which fits in his pocket. He prefers actual photos of the items he likes, so that’s what we put in the album. Sometimes we have to page through the album with him, until we find what he needs or wants.
16% Upon finishing, Ben saw Kyle’s face needed a little more washing. He grabbed the washcloth to get one more spot on the face. Kyle protested. Ben got it. According to the ‘picture’ step-by-step task cards, he had already washed his face. Ben reached in the envelope for the appropriate card with Kyle smiling, to let Ben know that he needed to show the card first.
During breakfast, Kyle would rather play with his cereal than eat it. Still, they did not end up mad at each other. Instead of ragging on Kyle to get moving, Ben just tapped the appropriate card to draw his son back to the task at hand. It worked!
Note: Read more about ‘visual schedules’ and ‘picture’ step-by-step task cards in my Free ASD Book – Know Autism, Know Your Child, under What To Do While You Wait? UNIT 5, CHAPTER 4 – WORKING ON DAILY INDEPENDENT LIVING SKILLS, & UNIT #3C What Is Most Concerning? ~ SOCIAL/PERSONAL AWARENESS & DAILY LIVING SKILLS.
Reference:
Morin, A. (2024). The Difference Between Tantrums & Sensory Meltdowns; Retrieved online from: https://www.understood.org/en
Kindly share my website, globally. My goal is to reach all parents, caregivers, clinicians, therapists, educators, students, and persons with autism.
Regards,
Sara Luker
Encouraged, they moved on to the bathroom. Again, it worked, with only a minimum of coaching, Kyle looked at the cards to see what was next. Ben tapped the appropriate card to draw his son’s attention back to the task at hand. Eventually, Kyle took the card himself, putting it back in the envelope.”
< My Thoughts > “…putting it back in the envelope.”
This requires the ‘level of understanding and skill’, as referred to previously. Requiring Kyle to initiate the choosing, sorting, organizing, and replacing cards in an envelope, may be a bit beyond most children at his age. Our Sonny has a small photo album which fits in his pocket. He prefers actual photos of the items he likes, so that’s what we put in the album. Sometimes we have to page through the album with him, until we find what he needs or wants.
16% Upon finishing, Ben saw Kyle’s face needed a little more washing. He grabbed the washcloth to get one more spot on the face. Kyle protested. Ben got it. According to the ‘picture’ step-by-step task cards, he had already washed his face. Ben reached in the envelope for the appropriate card with Kyle smiling, to let Ben know that he needed to show the card first.
During breakfast, Kyle would rather play with his cereal than eat it. Still, they did not end up mad at each other. Instead of ragging on Kyle to get moving, Ben just tapped the appropriate card to draw his son back to the task at hand. It worked!
Note: Read more about ‘visual schedules’ and ‘picture’ step-by-step task cards in my Free ASD Book – Know Autism, Know Your Child, under What To Do While You Wait? UNIT 5, CHAPTER 4 – WORKING ON DAILY INDEPENDENT LIVING SKILLS, & UNIT #3C What Is Most Concerning? ~ SOCIAL/PERSONAL AWARENESS & DAILY LIVING SKILLS.
Reference:
Morin, A. (2024). The Difference Between Tantrums & Sensory Meltdowns; Retrieved online from: https://www.understood.org/en
Kindly share my website, globally. My goal is to reach all parents, caregivers, clinicians, therapists, educators, students, and persons with autism.
Regards,
Sara Luker
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