The Autism Mom’s Survival Guide (for Dad’s, too!): Creating a Balanced and Happy Life While Raising a Child with Autism by Susan Senator, eBook 2011 Edition; an Extended Review with < My Thoughts > by Sara Luker
(6% indicates location in the Kindle version of the book, instead of page numbers.)
Excerpts from this book…
6% No one has a perfect life! …autism was not all of what Nat was.
Autism parents must cope with the negative perceptions and stereotypes and seek ways to be happier and find that happiness with their children and on their own.
In Nat’s early days, my feelings were a chaotic mess. Often I felt ashamed of him because he was so different from the children around him.
In the early days, nothing in my life remained clear. Or when I did reach some understanding of Nat or autism, it would just as quickly disappear, because he would change again. I thought that this was unique to me, but with years of therapy and growing up, I finally understood that all parents feel that way.
10% Even though the autism community can be very supportive, a lifeline, it is just as true that the autism community can be its own worst enemy. I learned this again and again as an autism mother.
< My Thoughts > “The autism community can be very supportive, a lifeline, or its own worst enemy…”
Specifically about Parent Support Groups, this is what I found in the literature. I found that as Susan says, it can be helpful or not so much. Granted, while groups seem like a good idea to help new parents, or ‘first responders’, connect with other parents in order to access information and services; but it can also become a place of negativity.
Clifford & Minnes (2013), say that “many participants valued the experience as it made them feel as though they were not alone.” Authors also caution that, in order for it to be helpful, the success is based upon parents’ expectations and needs.
Some parents interviewed say that the group would have been more helpful to them if they had met people with similar experience; especially parents with older children or those with children higher up on the spectrum, like Asperger’s. They did concede that the group helped them towards feelings of greater acceptance, increased empowerment, and learning more about what was out there in the community.
This brings about the thought that one must do their homework just to find the best parent support group for them. Such as, a group of parents with similar needs and living in a similar setting. This article also mentions that online groups may be the answer for those who find it difficult to travel in person to a meeting location. Or, for those who want to share the experience with other people involved in the care of the child. Nothing is simple, right?
Bennett (2015) tells us when support groups are a ‘bad’ idea. It’s not the ‘idea’ which is bad, but the group which does not have a leader, or the leader in not “creating an atmosphere where it’s safe to unload and vent and talk about what doesn’t feel good.”
She reminds us that the purpose of a support group is to help “get you through a rough spot in your life so you can the graduate from the group.” And that all “participants should take responsibility for moving forward and making their lives better.” Sage advice.
10% …it is within our power to reduce a lot of the suffering we experience. We can do this by remembering to take care of ourselves, by figuring out how to have more fun with our kids, by nurturing our marriages, and most important, by shifting our attitudes about autism.
< My Thoughts > Please refer to her book for more of this valuable list of ideas and resources on the subject “… how to get started shifting your attitude.”
12% Autism care is done largely by feel, by trial-and-error more than anything else. In autism treatment, it seems like the New Age meets the Dark Ages.
(6% indicates location in the Kindle version of the book, instead of page numbers.)
Excerpts from this book…
6% No one has a perfect life! …autism was not all of what Nat was.
Autism parents must cope with the negative perceptions and stereotypes and seek ways to be happier and find that happiness with their children and on their own.
In Nat’s early days, my feelings were a chaotic mess. Often I felt ashamed of him because he was so different from the children around him.
In the early days, nothing in my life remained clear. Or when I did reach some understanding of Nat or autism, it would just as quickly disappear, because he would change again. I thought that this was unique to me, but with years of therapy and growing up, I finally understood that all parents feel that way.
10% Even though the autism community can be very supportive, a lifeline, it is just as true that the autism community can be its own worst enemy. I learned this again and again as an autism mother.
< My Thoughts > “The autism community can be very supportive, a lifeline, or its own worst enemy…”
Specifically about Parent Support Groups, this is what I found in the literature. I found that as Susan says, it can be helpful or not so much. Granted, while groups seem like a good idea to help new parents, or ‘first responders’, connect with other parents in order to access information and services; but it can also become a place of negativity.
Clifford & Minnes (2013), say that “many participants valued the experience as it made them feel as though they were not alone.” Authors also caution that, in order for it to be helpful, the success is based upon parents’ expectations and needs.
Some parents interviewed say that the group would have been more helpful to them if they had met people with similar experience; especially parents with older children or those with children higher up on the spectrum, like Asperger’s. They did concede that the group helped them towards feelings of greater acceptance, increased empowerment, and learning more about what was out there in the community.
This brings about the thought that one must do their homework just to find the best parent support group for them. Such as, a group of parents with similar needs and living in a similar setting. This article also mentions that online groups may be the answer for those who find it difficult to travel in person to a meeting location. Or, for those who want to share the experience with other people involved in the care of the child. Nothing is simple, right?
Bennett (2015) tells us when support groups are a ‘bad’ idea. It’s not the ‘idea’ which is bad, but the group which does not have a leader, or the leader in not “creating an atmosphere where it’s safe to unload and vent and talk about what doesn’t feel good.”
She reminds us that the purpose of a support group is to help “get you through a rough spot in your life so you can the graduate from the group.” And that all “participants should take responsibility for moving forward and making their lives better.” Sage advice.
10% …it is within our power to reduce a lot of the suffering we experience. We can do this by remembering to take care of ourselves, by figuring out how to have more fun with our kids, by nurturing our marriages, and most important, by shifting our attitudes about autism.
< My Thoughts > Please refer to her book for more of this valuable list of ideas and resources on the subject “… how to get started shifting your attitude.”
12% Autism care is done largely by feel, by trial-and-error more than anything else. In autism treatment, it seems like the New Age meets the Dark Ages.